Pictures of just a few of the many bizarre rituals of The International Wolverine Conspiracy include Michigan men performing their grass skirted
Dance of Death (L), sorority concubines consecrating the bond of obedience (C) and a group of masked Michigan musicians preparing to feast on the
flesh of Ohioans (R)
The International Wolverine Conspiracy is an ultra secret organization designed to bring all of mankind under the control of a power mad cadre of University of Michigan graduates using the Wolverine football program as the tip of its foul spear. It is the greatest force of evil the world has ever known. It makes the Illuminati look like a bunch of slap dash, piss drunk Rotary members.
Members of The Conspiracy are indoctrinated at a young age. They are each picked for their aptitude for evil. Children who show a propensity towards lying, cheating, stealing and violence towards defenseless family pets are often earmarked as apt pupils by Michigan recruiters working in secret at school systems throughout the country. They are brought up through the ranks using a series of strange rituals steeped in Wolverine symbolism. Those who break the code are buried alive in the tidal regions of Lake Michigan. The only known exit from The Conspiracy is death.
The University of Michigan acts as a finishing school of sorts for these demon spawn. Many, thru the use of steroids, monstrous medical procedures and demented physical programs, become part of the Michigan Wolverine football program. Upon their graduation or departure from the University they are turned out into the world. Most to carry out plans created by their evil masters while some, usually the most mentally deviated of the lot, are sent out to create mischief of their own making.
Below you will find some of the standout members of The International Wolverine Conspiracy and their role in the plot. Some are part of the organized plans set in motion to destroy mankind. Others were set loose once their brains were twisted to a point of non-humanity to act as free agents of destruction to wreak their strange vengeance against mankind. All are pure Michigan thru and thru.
Further down the page you will see the proof of many of the most incredible of the plots of The Conspiracy to wreck the planet.
Be afraid. Be very afraid. This is not a joke. This is reality.
(L to R) Mike Wallace, P. Anthony Ridder, Darth Vader, Madonna and Chip Davis
Members of The Conspiracy are now in every segment of society but many can be found in the media where they can control the thought process of the country, bringing the world to its knees. One of the best examples is Mike Wallace (Class of '39). He is such an annoying old bastard that the very sound of his voice gives many Americans the fits. He has for decades been the kingpin of a fiendish plan to discredit the public's belief in the media by being such a self centered, egotistical twat that in the rare cases where a journalist sounds the alarm they are not taken seriously because of general hatred of and distrust towards the media.
P. Anthony Ridder (Class of '62) is known to many as the President of the powerful Knight Ridder news service. They control much of what is reported by the media of all kind around the world. He uses his control to plant lying pro-Michigan stories and fake reports of the Wolverines beating the Buckeyes. He also has helped place pro-Michigan writers and cartoonists in positions of power.
James Earl Jones (Class of '55), known to the world as the voice of Darth Vader, pulled off one of the greatest coups by The Conspiracy. He actually made the evil guy the most popular character in one of the great screen epics. The first three of the Star Wars films were then used to help indoctrinate American youth toward the evil "dark side." Luckily, George Lucas made the second trilogy suck to try and offset this.
Who has done more to harm the young women of America then Madonna ('78-'79)? She has helped turn millions of girls into wanna be whores. Many now suffer from horrible sexually transmitted diseases due to the insidious influence of "Michigan Madge the Vag."
When The Conspiracy needed to destroy Christmas music they turned to Michigan grad Chip Davis (Class of '69). His group Mannheim Steamroller has spewed out the most atrocious tripe in the history of swillish seasonal serenades. Millions now equate the birth of baby Jesus with shitty music and so turn away from the joy of the season. He wrote that CB radio song "Convoy," too. 'Nuff said.
(L to R) Ann B. Davis, Cathy Guisewite, Emil Konopinski, Dan Dierdorf and Paul Ostergard
Arguably the greatest damage to America's youth in the 1970's was done by actress Ann B. Davis (Class of '48). Using her role as the beloved maid Alice in the smash hit The Brady Bunch, Davis influenced the producers to often dress the young boys in the series in yellow and blue rugby style shirts. Untold millions of children then came to equate the Michigan colors with idyllic suburban happiness. It was a lie that led to the explosion in the size of suburban areas, traffic gridlock and spiraling fuel prices.
Michigan's Cathy Guisewite (Class of '72) is creator of the annoying "Cathy" comic strip. It leads young women to believe that their lives will be fulfilled by becoming fat, chocolate addicted, simpering, mindless shopaholics. The strip would have had no chance at syndication had it not been forced down the throats of newspapers by the news services controlled by The Conspiracy.
Considered a giant among the members of The International Wolverine Conspiracy is Emil Konopinski (Class of '34). He was a member of The Manhattan Project that created the first atomic bombs and also patented a device that made the first hydrogen bomb possible. With these terrible weapons The Conspiracy finally had the implements with which to destroy the planet.
How could The Conspiracy slant what happens on the field of play during a broadcast so that anything could be twisted to meet their desires? Control the men in the booth! Enter the seeming gentle giant of broadcasting Dan Dierdorf ('68-70). Behind his calm demeanor he is pure pro-Michigan evil!
A Wolverine not to be trifled with is Paul Ostergard (Class of '64). As the President of the General Electric Foundation he had his finger on the pulse of billions of dollars across countless industries. He also funneled technology advances to his masters.
(L to R) Larry Page, Charles Walgreen, Dr. Jack Kevorkian, Herman Mudgett, The Unabomber
Less than two weeks after the Dead Schembechlers video for "Bomb Ann Arbor Now" bested videos by Michigan approved mass media darlings like Green Day, U2 and Paris Hilton on YouTube.com, it was announced that the site would be bought by Google. Google was co-founded by none other than Michigan grad Larry Page (Class of '95). The end is near for free expression on the web!
Startling to many but true nonetheless is the fact that Michigan has never defeated OSU in football. Spectators who were at the games who thought Michigan had won had been dosed with air carried mind control drugs. Charles Walgreen (Class of '28), the founder of the enormous Walgreen's drugstore chains, was the man who created the means to distribute and deliver this fiendish plan.
How can you kill people you can't reach? Convince them to kill themselves! Enter Michigan grad Jack 'Dr. Death" Kevorkian (Class of '52) who created a series of self killing machines. His aptitude towards promoting self suicide cost countless lives.
Few know the horrible truth that the nation's first serial killer was a University of Michigan man. His name was Herman Mudgett from the class of 1884. It is believed that he was an early experiment by The Conspiracy to twist a human mind and then set it loose in the world to see what horrible mischief it could create.
Perhaps the most infamous graduate of the University of Michigan and a star pupil of The Conspiracy was Ted Kaczynski aka The Unabomber (Class of '64). For a decade and a half his reign of terror paralyzed much of the country.
Young Gerald Ford in his Michigan football uniform (L), sitting left on the Warren Commission (C) and smilingly contemplating Wolverine world domination (R)
When John F. Kennedy became President of the United States he convinced his inner circle behind closed doors that he would use his power to take on The International Wolverine Conspiracy. He paid for this effort with his life. He was succeeded by Lyndon Johnson, a University of Texas man and OSU hater. When Johnson formed what became known as The Warren Commission to investigate the death of Kennedy few noticed that a former University of Michigan football star would be a member. Gerald Ford was a Michigan man thru and thru. His blind allegiance to The Conspiracy had put him on the fast track to its highest echelons. It was thanks to his influence on the Commission that much of the nation believed the lies of "the single bullet theory" and the other hogwash that was used to cover up the true motives for the President's death and the machinations of how it was carried out.
The final report of The Warren Commission. Note that Gerald Ford has scrawled the words "Beat OSU!" next to his signature.
When John Kennedy's brother Bobby later ran for the nation's highest office to continue the work begun against The Conspiracy, he too was cut down. And Gerald Ford? He was rewarded by becoming the first President of the United States to gain office without being voted upon by the electorate. He was appointed to replace disgraced Vice President Spiro Agnew (who was set up by The Conspiracy) and then became President upon the resignation of Richard Nixon. Nixon, a rabid football fan, was always entranced by the Wolverines but, as a non Michigan man, was not allowed to keep control of the corridors of power and was forced out in disgrace. The Watergate Burglary that set Nixon on the path to failure? Arranged by and paid for by The Conspiracy to make room for Ford.
The three crew members of Apollo 15 were all from the University of Michigan
The Apollo space program began in the 1960's at the urging of President Kennedy to explore the moon and beyond. With his death, Apollo and its billion dollar plus budget was perverted into one of the greatest schemes in the history of The International Wolverine Conspiracy. Under the guidance of Michigan men in NASA, Congress and other parts of the Federal Government a plot was hatched to send Conspiracy men into the Earth's atmosphere where they would plant chemicals that would raise the planet's temperature. The "global warming" as it was later dubbed would wreck food growing areas, cause flooding on the coasts and create world wide havoc that would make a seizure of the planet by pro-Wolverine forces a fait accompli.
The most important of these Wolverine controlled missions was Apollo 15. Launched at a critical time in the process of seeding the atmosphere with the proper chemical mix, its success would trigger the beginning of global warming. With the success of this particular mission being so imperative it was decided that appearances be damned and THREE former University of Michigan men would make up the crew. James Irwin, David Scott and Alfred Worden were sent into space with the needed payload and...something extra. As the spacecraft broke the bonds of gravity, the chemicals were let loose over the unsuspecting denizens of our ill fated planet. With the mission's primary objective in hand it was then that the "something extra" portion of the project was put into motion. The crew had smuggled twenty University of Michigan flags aboard the spacecraft. While most of these would be returned to Earth as trophies to key members of The Conspiracy, one of these flags would be planted upon the surface of the moon as it was formally claimed by Michigan. The astronauts also formed a University of Michigan Alumni Club of the Moon and claimed Earth's only satellite for their Wolverine masters.
The Apollo 15 astronauts were eventually disgraced by Congress when it was discovered that they had carried postage stamps aboard the space flight. As anything carried into space is considered to be of great monetary value to collectors, the stamps were sold according to plan after the flight with the money earmarked for the coffers of The Conspiracy. Once the money was in hand, the three astronauts were shamed in public and disavowed by their masters as their use to The Conspiracy was over and they were now considered expendable.
With the seeds of global warming now in place, the plot continued to unfold...
Unlike other satellite pictures of Hurricane Katrina, this image clearly shows the letter "M" at the eye of the storm as it approaches New Orleans.
The Conspiracy spent the rest of the 70's and the early 80's perfecting the manipulation of world weather patterns. Then came the year 1984 when the Michigan Wolverines would face the Auburn Tigers in the Sugar Bowl in New Orleans, Louisiana. The heavily favored Wolverines were defeated 9-7 on a late game kick and ended the season in disgrace. Much of the crowd was made up of locals and The Conspiracy resented their partisanship against The Wolverines and vowed revenge against the city.
It took nearly twenty years but that revenge became real in the year 2005. Many hurricanes that year had ravaged the world at the bequest of The Conspiracy but they felt the time had come to even the score with New Orleans. One of the most massive storms in history was formed and sent against the Louisiana coast. As a show of their power, the Michiganites used recently invented storm control techniques to have the eye of the storm form a letter "M" as the it approached the city. The rest is history.
Rich Rodriguez (L) pulled loot out of West Virginia which caused a world stock panic (C) that was all orchestrated by horse faced
Michigan Law grad Ann Coulter (R)
In the Fall of 2008 the Dead Schembechlers announced their return as an entertainment entity. The Michigan faithful were thrown into a panic as they had hoped that their arch musical nemesis had disappeared forever but they were not without fiendish tricks up their sleeve. One involved their new coach Rich Rodriguez and using the funds he absconded from West Virginia with as the opening gambit in a high stakes game of world financial ruin. The newly installed head of the International Wolverine Conspiracy, Michigan Law grad turned political shreik hag Ann Coulter, put a Machiavellian plan into motion that she hoped would stop the Dead Schembechlers while simultaneously bankrupting governments around the globe which would allow them to be absorbed with greater ease into the New Wolverine Order.
Under orders from his new masters Rodriguez refused to return funds he was paid by West Virginia when he fled the state. The ensuing monetary crunch there began a domino effect of missed payments and dried up funds which led to job loss and mortgage failures. The sudden instability began discreditation of West Virgina banks which began a tumble of financial institutions that quickly spread around the U.S. before causing chaos around the rest of the globe. However, the world monetary ruin was not enough to stop the Dead Schembechlers performances as they announed all of their concerts as "low dough shows" with an admission price of only ten dollars. The influx of their concert dollars helped stem the tide of financial defeat for many around Ohio.
Obama family with Bo, Palin with Michigan's Ted Nugent, Obama in Ann Arbor
National politics are nothing more then a circus to occupy the mind of voters while their government is stolen out from under them by the International Wolverine Conspiracy. This sad but true fact has grown stronger in the new millennium as those in power now outwardly show their allegiances to the New Wolverine Order more publicly then ever.
While the mantra of President Obama's supporters has been "Hope" it is now clear that all hope is gone for those faithful to freedom and the cause of the Buckeyes Nation. Shortly after gaining power, Obama announced that he and his family had adopted a dog. It's name? Bo. That's right. As a thank you to the evil powers of Michigan for making Obama president, the nation's first family paid direct tribute to Bo Schembechler in a manner that would have been thought too out in the open just a few years ago. The president has shockingly also spoken at commencement ceremonies at the University of Michigan in Ann Arbor. Furthermore, he has gone out of his way to praise Michigan grads like Derek Blumke at the exclusion of students from Ohio State University. His groveling at the filthy feet of his Wolverine leaders knows no shame.
Is political control by the New Wolverine Order relegated to only one party? Sadly, no. Enter malevolent Michigan mastered mother of mayhem Sarah Palin. When she began her book tour for "Going Rogue," she chose Ann Arbor as the first place to appear saying she was, "Thrilled to be back in the Wolverine state." She appeared there not only to sell books, but also to stand before her dark Michigan lords in person to pledge allegiance to all that is unholy and anti-Ohio. In addition, Palin has appeared publicly with a score of Michigan politicians as well as psychotic Michigan musician Ted Nugent who it is rumored stalks the borderline with Ohio clad only in a loincloth, killing Ohioans with a bow and arrow before scalping them and drinking their still warm blood.
Can Ohio and the Buckeyes stand alone against such stacked odds? We can and must to insure that mankind does not fall back into a second Dark Age.
If you have any other facts or evidence you can add to our catalog of crimes against humanity by The International Wolverine Conspiracy please email them to firstname.lastname@example.org. Thank you.